All Frodos wild.

I'm still astounded, sometimes, that Vegas is the most appropriate vacation destination for nearly-dead-from-diabetes, Rascal-wheelin' slot machine jockeys, and smoking hot women. Magical.

We stayed at the Wynn because they sent us a flyer in the mail. (Aside: I can't believe that worked.) My immediate reaction upon entering the hotel is that all one billion Chinese people are in the casino right now. Really, I have no doubt about the vitality of the Chinese economy now. As we entered our room, I couldn't help but notice the white with gold highlights, and the white leather sofa and think, This is very Chinese! There was a line of tourists with a middle-aged tour guide in a vest in front holding a little flag marching through the lobby!

So, if I was feeling insecure about the smoking hot lady-staff of the Wynn, I, at least, was surrounded by my people.

Speaking of ladies, it is my tradition to view the titles of the adult movies at a hotel, not because I want to buy porn, but because I love the knowledge that someone out there had to curate the collection and another person had to write the descriptions, and I get about 10 minutes of free amusement. What have I learned about our curator? MILF. Also, in the category they euphemistically called Exotic or something, but they really meant Racial, there were only two categories: Asian & Latin. Yes, no Black category! How to interpret this? Do we dare hope that integration has truly occurred? An important moment in civil rights.

Buffet: awesome. In true American style, every placard sitting over the chafing dishes stated whether the food contained gluten, dairy, was vegan, was sugar-free. Yesterday, I basically had two plates of meat and a plate of dessert and didn't eat the rest of the day. AMERICA IS #1.

Gambling: I missed the part of my 20s where you're supposed to learn how gamble. But, we randomly ran into someone we knew at the Wynn (!!?) and Steve, at some point, was up $2,000 in craps. (!!?)

Entertainment: coincidentally, Jerry Seinfeld was performing at Caesar's Palace. He killed it. We even decided not to look like jerks and dress up because one of the magical things about Vegas is that you can never be overdressed. On the way over there, some guys passed me a club flyer because, apparently, we looked like we were looking for a party and I thought, "OMG, I passed some standard!" and continued to clack down the sidewalk.

Playing at the Venetian casino floor: "Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now" by the Smiths. I wasn't sure how to interpret that.



Overall, we had fun, and I simultaneously greatly appreciated and was slightly resentful how easy it was to get a cab in that town.